it's all about, hope, love, and pain ..

kataberkata:

ini warna tomat yang matang

ini warna jeruk yang menggugah selera

ini warna perasaanku saat mulai jatuh cinta

jingga..

adalah warna yang kupilih untuk melukiskan fajar,

juga warna yang kupilih untuk senja..

senja jingga..

sampaikan keindahanmu untuknya

jika matanya memandangmu,

lukiskan.. betapa aku sayang padanya

I only want to know, if you would have ever made me an option? Would you have been able to love me? Care for me? Hold my hand? Or is image all that counts? Let me know, so that I can know if it’s worth still hoping that one day, we could atleast be friends, because we clearly are not, and it’s clear that you totally rejected me.

I made a choice to finally let go, because I can’t stand the pain, it’s time for my last tear to fall and smile again. 

So… from now on… when you think of me… just remember that I could’ve been the best thing you ever had. While I was holding on all you did was let go.

Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I don’t have. It’s really painful to say goodbye to someone that you don’t want to let go but its even more painful to ask someone to stay if they never wanted to stay. 

I’m holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it won’t. Have you ever hated somebody so much that you wish they would just leave and never come back but yet, loved them so much, you knew you’d die if they did?

I hate the way I could never hate you. Love is putting up with someone’s bad qualities because they somehow complete you. Life sucks a lot of the time, right?  But, you know, if you can get through a heartbreak, you can get through almost anything.

One day you’ll look back and think… damn! that girl really did love me… And you’ll regret it.

lagi buka buka notes dan liat tulisan ini jadi inget sekitar setahun yang lalu, cuman gara gara kamu doank, bisa bikin ta sakit banget.. :’(*lebay hahaha (23 februari 2011)

punyakah kamu sentuhan lembut miliknya?

adakah kamu romansa sayang sepertinya?

buatkan aku puisi seperti miliknya

rajutkan aku mimpi yang dulu tentangnya..

maafkan aku tatapanmu tak sama

senyummu tak buatku terpaku

kurindukan hanya dirinya

tak kan pernah kau gantikan dia

kau hanya imitasi imajinasiku akan dirinya

kataberkata:

aku tahu, Tuhan menciptakan kamu dengan lima indera. lengkap. sempurna. tapi pernahkah kamu gunakan untukku? pernahkah kamu melihat ke arahku? merasakan kehadiranku? mendengarkanku?

dan aku? sama sepertimu!

lima indera. lengkap. sempurna. kugunakan secara maksimal. untuk kamu. ini yang membedakan kita. aku selalu menggunakan kelima indera ini. dan selalu kamu subjeknya.

“it was easy… easy to love me… but you didn’t wanna try” - neyo.